being vs. becoming

I am a consummate grower.  Not as in the garden sense as I have killed my share of plants through simple ignorance, but as in personal sense.  I’ve gone through a lot in my life and have worked hard to find that happiness that eluded me growing up.  And while I am so much happier than I ever thought I could be and have learned to let the past go, I’m now too often in the future and not enough in the present.  I think this habit came from the simple fact that I was so unhappy for so long, that if I didn’t believe that the future would be better, I probably would have given up.

So now I’m working on being in the present, or as the say in Zen Buddhism, “mindfulness”.

enjoying the now

It’s not an easy habit to change, but I really want to be more fully present in “now” rather than always thinking about how things will be.  Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s exciting to think about all things I’ll accomplish and the kind of person I hopefully will become.  If I didn’t have anything else to learn about or some way to improve myself, I think I’d go nuts!  Life without a challenge would simply be hell for me.  But I think an important part of happiness is learning to be happy with who you are now as well as be excited for the you that you’ll become.

I think I finally understand that quote about enjoying the journey and not just think about the destination.  It’s a simple idea, but a truly profound one.  It’s not easy to find that balance.  But if I’m always in tomorrow, I can never really enjoy today.  And since tomorrow doesn’t exist yet I’m not truly fulfilled either way.

So how do you stay fully present?  How do you savor the moment?  How do you relax and enjoy where you are and who you with without worrying about the next thing on your list?

Hmmm.

This is not going to be easy, but I think I’m on to something.